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Mark Twain

Mark Twain
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
It is by the goodness of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right.
When angry count to four; when very angry, swear.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.