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Mark Twain

Mark Twain
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
It could probably be shown, by facts and figures, that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.