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Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Bierce
Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
I think that a young state, like a young virgin, should modestly stay at home, and wait the application of suitors for an alliance with her; and not run about offering her amity to all the world; and hazarding their refusal. Our virgin is a jolly one; and tho at present not very rich, will in time be a great fortune, and where she has a favorable predisposition, it seems to me well worth cultivating.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.
The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Being is desirable because it is identical with Beauty, and Beauty is loved because it is Being. We ourselves possess Beauty when we are true to our own being; ugliness is in going over to another order; knowing ourselves, we are beautiful; in self-ignorance, we are ugly.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
The covers of this book are too far apart.