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Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction -- from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.
Every creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
Even though they raised the rate for first class mail in the United States we really shouldn't complain -- it's still only 2 cents a day.
Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are.
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
Even a cabbage may look at a king.
Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
Ettore's observation: the other line moves faster.
Equal bytes for women.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Elevators smell different to midgets
Education helps earning capacity. Ask any college professor.
Economy makes men independent.
Due to a shortage of devoted followers, the production of great leaders has been discontinued.
Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your fate and captain of your soul.
Down with categorical imperative!
Don't worry about what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying about what you are thinking about them.
Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.