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If you can't say something nice, say something surrealistic.
If you can survive death, you can probably survive anything.
If you can lead it to water and force it to drink, it isn't a horse.
If you build something a fool can use, only a fool will want it.
If you are willing to die, you can do anything.
If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.
If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it. Quit work and play for awhile.
If we do not change our direction, we might end up were we are headed.
If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are headed.
If voting could really change the system, it would be against the law.
If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.
If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
If something's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
If people were required to know the law rather than obey it, the government would be overthrown the very next day.
If only one could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.
If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.
If one year is seven dog years, then one day is a dog week.