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Wasting time is an important part of living.
Virtue is its own punishment.
Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.
UNIX is user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.
Two percent of zero is almost nothing.
Two men look out through the same bars; one sees mud, and one the stars.
Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only specification is that it should run noiselessly.
Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.
Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be prosecuted.
Today is the first day of the rest of your lossage.
Today is the last day of your life so far.
To teach is to learn.
To program is to be.
To program anything that is programmable is obsession.
To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
To err is human, to forgive divine.
To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the competent.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.